Welcome to writing activity #2! It is time to revise and rework!
But first, have you heard of the word phonesthetics? It is the study of beauty and pleasantness associated with the sounds of certain words or parts of words. Though there is no scientific reasoning for whether sounds are euphonious (pleasing) or cacophonous (displeasing). Euphony is a Greek word meaning "good sound." Often cited as a line of poetry rich in euphony is Shakespeare's "Sonnet 18," particularly the ending: "So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see, / So long lives this, and this gives life to thee."
In contrast, cacophony means "bad sound." It is often characterized by its hissing, jarring, harsh tones. Words that start with "Sk," like screeching, for instance.
But this is not to say that you need to avoid cacophony or only use words that are euphonic. You should always aim to match the poem. If you are writing about a cat in a stand-off with a dog, you will likely want to write about the hissing and the scratching and so will want the reader to feel the harshness of those words. In contrast, if you are writing about a wedding or a the flight of a butterfly, you will want to use euphonics.
While I think it's important to pay attention to phonesthetics, if you are a new to writing poetry, don't worry too much about it. Just keep that knowledge in the back of your head. Just write for now. You can swap out good and bad sounds later.
But if you want to dive right in, I think the best way to determine whether or not words sound good together or not, is to read the words aloud to yourself. How do they slip off the tongue? Do you stumble over any particular word or phrases? Do any word or phrase stick out like a sore thumb because it's way more formal or casual than the rest of your writing? Do the words flow when combined together and do they add emphasis in the right (or the wrong) places? I think most people have a pretty natural sound intuition. Trust yourself. And, ultimately, this is your writing. So as long as you like the way it sounds, you're gonna be alright.
Take the poem you wrote last month. (if you wrote two poems, choose the one you like the best, or choose to work on both!) Maybe you've even decided that you're brave enough to even share the one poem you didn't want anyone to see. Read it aloud and determine the strength of your phonesthetics.
Let's get to work!
Read it aloud to yourself. Do you still like the way it sounds? Are there any words that are "extra?" Extra words are those that don't really provide any meaning or substance. Examples could be words like: the, there then, if, to, that, too, this, or, as, is, when, for. Cut any of these unnecessary words away.
Read through it again. Underline any boring words that could be swapped out for better words. Words like: ran, walked, said, sat. Or are there words that create tension when you say them aloud and just feel out of place?
Are there any words that can be interpreted more creatively or can you turn an idea into a metaphor? For example: Chaos is a friend of mine.
Take a peek at how I revised my poem "The Laundromat."
Go ahead and make those changes and see what you think. You may be finished. You may need to do some more work. It's entirely up to you!
Did you get a chance to do the Bio Activity? If you haven't, it's a ton of fun. I created it to help you envision (and remember) the writer living inside you.